Boundaries for christian dating

When Rose and I were dating, a pastor told me I shouldn't touch Rose's leg because it would cause me to stumble. I didn't listen to him.

In Dating Relationships, Are Boundaries Enough? A Christian Response | Crossmap

Some boundaries are so strict they hold the relationship back from natural desires of sharing affection. I also knew where our weak areas were and touching her knee wasn't an issue.

I do, however, understand why the pastor was concerned. Once one line is crossed, the next barrier falls more easily and you quickly move far beyond your intended boundaries without meaning to. After talking with the man, woman, or couple, I always tell them boundaries aren't enough. It's not enough to tell someone you shouldn't do this or that.

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Boundaries hardly ever work if they stand on their own. So the question I always ask after I hear their stated boundaries is, how do you plan to accomplish following those boundaries?

Guidelines for Setting Emotional Boundaries

Do you have any spacial boundaries in mind to help you follow your physical boundaries? I respond by saying, "the boundaries are great, but what happens when the movie gets boring and you're both under the same blanket, alone, in a dark room? After the hand-holding incident we were friends for a few years before sharing a few lust-driven kisses followed by one long, awkward summer during which we were NOT dating but would use every moment alone to… well, you get the idea. Inevitably, this did not go so well. We eventually realised that our lack of physical boundaries were preventing us from connecting on a deeper emotional and spiritual level.

We made the decision to focus on continually talking to one another and develop a level of intimacy that way, rather than spending our time being physically close when we were actually together. Our relationship became a long-distance one, which certainly helped with the maintaining of physical boundaries on a practical level. List your goals for each season of the Christian dating relationship and try to balance your emotions with logic.

Too Much, Too Soon? Setting Emotional Boundaries in Dating

Dating needs to be vulnerable. You just need to be wise as well. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. So to guard you heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian dating relationship is actually in. If this one is not on your list of Christian dating boundaries, something is wrong with you.


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How far is too far? What are you aloud to do in dating? Anything done with your spouse is good.

Anything done without your spouse is sin. I get these two categories from 1 Corinthians 7: So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating.

The Teaching Ministry of Mark Ballenger

Rather, again, it gives us two big categories we are to stay within: Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin. Sexual experiences with your spouse are good. The trickier part will be to define what is an act rooted in sexual desire and what is an act that is simply a sign of affection. Read the article for more on this. This list of important dating boundaries for Christians could go on and on.

When Christians abstain from sexual sin, I think the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense.

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How to set boundaries whilst Christian dating

But just like the rest of these categories, you must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at. Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart. Not everyone feels the same way about these three words as I do.


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  • But I believe these words should not be spoken in a dating relationship. I reserved these words for my proposal with my wife. I did that because I felt if I truly loved her, why would I wait to marry her?